Therapy

Burnout…

What It Is and How to Recover

Burnout Defined

Burnout is a word we hear often, but many people don’t recognize it until they’re already deep in it. It’s not just feeling tired after a long week or unmotivated for a day or two. Burnout is a state of emotional, mental, and often physical exhaustion caused by prolonged stress—especially when that stress feels relentless, unavoidable, or disconnected from meaning or reward. It can creep in quietly, disguising itself as “just pushing through,” until even simple tasks feel overwhelming.

At its core, burnout happens when demand consistently exceeds capacity. You give more than you can sustainably replenish. Over time, your system doesn’t just get tired—it starts to shut down as a form of self-protection.

What Burnout Feels Like

Burnout often shows up as chronic fatigue, cynicism, irritability, brain fog, or a sense of emotional numbness. You might feel detached from your work or relationships, find it harder to care about things that once mattered, or feel trapped in a loop of obligation without relief. Many people also experience physical symptoms: headaches, muscle tension, sleep problems, or increased illness.

One reason burnout is so common is that our culture rewards overcommitment. We glorify productivity, hustle, and resilience while quietly discouraging rest and limits. Many people treat life like a series of sprints—constantly rushing, pushing, and accelerating—when in reality, a sustainable life is more like a marathon. Sprinting occasionally is fine. Sprinting all the time is not.

Spoon Theory and the Cost of Overcommitting

A helpful framework for understanding burnout is spoon theory. Originally developed to describe chronic illness, spoon theory uses “spoons” as a metaphor for energy units. Each task—getting dressed, going to work, having a conversation—costs a certain number of spoons. When you’re out of spoons, you’re done for the day.

Burnout often develops when we repeatedly plan our lives as if we have unlimited spoons. We say yes to too much, underestimate the energy cost of obligations, and assume tomorrow we’ll magically have more capacity. Overcommitting—whether at work, in family roles, or socially—drains spoons faster than they can be replenished. Recovery requires learning to budget energy realistically, not optimistically.

Recovery Is Not a Vacation—It’s a Recalibration

Recovering from burnout isn’t just about taking a break, though breaks help. Many people take time off only to return to the same patterns, expectations, and internal pressures that caused burnout in the first place. True recovery requires both rest and structural change.

Here are five strategies that can support healing and help prevent burnout from returning.


1. Shift from Sprinting to Pacing

Burnout recovery begins with changing how you move through life. If you’ve been living in constant urgency, your nervous system is likely stuck in overdrive. Pacing means intentionally slowing down, building in margins, and leaving some energy unused.

This may feel uncomfortable at first, especially if your identity is tied to productivity. But pacing doesn’t mean doing nothing—it means doing what’s sustainable. Ask yourself: Could I keep living this way for years? If the answer is no, something needs to change.


2. Reassess Commitments and Say Fewer Yeses

Burnout thrives on unexamined obligation. Recovery requires a hard look at where your energy is going. Which commitments are essential, and which are inherited, habitual, or guilt-driven?

Start by reducing, not optimizing. You don’t need a more efficient schedule—you need a lighter one. Practice saying no, postponing decisions, or offering partial participation. Protecting your energy is not selfish; it’s necessary.


3. Restore Rest (Without Earning It)

Many burned-out people only rest when they feel they’ve “earned” it. Recovery asks you to flip that belief. Rest is not a reward—it’s a biological requirement.

This includes sleep, but also mental rest (less stimulation), emotional rest (fewer draining interactions), and sensory rest (quiet, nature, reduced screen time). Rest may feel unproductive, but it is the soil where recovery grows.


4. Reconnect with Meaning, Not Just Output

Burnout often strips life of meaning, leaving only tasks and expectations. Part of healing involves reconnecting with why you do what you do—or discovering new sources of meaning altogether.

This might involve creativity, values-based work, relationships, spirituality, or small moments of pleasure and curiosity. Meaning doesn’t have to be grand. It just has to be yours.


5. Seek Support and Normalize Needing Help

Burnout is not a personal failure; it’s a human response to chronic strain. Talking with a therapist, counselor, or trusted person can help you untangle unrealistic expectations, perfectionism, or people-pleasing patterns that fuel burnout.

Support also reminds you that you don’t have to carry everything alone. Recovery is faster—and gentler—when it’s shared.


Moving Forward

Burnout recovery is not linear. There will be days when energy returns, and days when it doesn’t. The goal is not to get back to who you were before burnout, but to build a life that doesn’t require burning yourself down to function.

When you stop treating life like an endless sprint, honor your limited spoons, and allow rest to be part of the plan, something important happens: energy slowly comes back—not as adrenaline, but as steadiness. And that kind of energy lasts.

Therapy

Overcoming Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) This Winter

Tips for Coping with a Case of the Winter Blues

As the vibrant colors of autumn fade into muted shades of gray and white, winter begins to assert itself, typically starting in late December and extending through late March. For those in the northern parts of the country, this season brings its unique challenges. The days grow alarmingly short, with the sun rising late and setting as early as mid-afternoon. Cold temperatures and icy conditions make outdoor activities less inviting, while snow-covered landscapes, though beautiful, can feel isolating. These seasonal changes often lead to a phenomenon many refer to as the “winter blues.”

The winter blues, also known as seasonal affective disorder (SAD) in its more severe forms, can leave you feeling lethargic, unmotivated, and even depressed. This is a widespread issue, with millions experiencing a dip in their mental health during these colder months. But understanding why this happens and exploring ways to counteract it can make winter a more manageable, even enjoyable, time of year.

Why Does Winter Impact Our Mood?

The primary culprit behind the winter blues is the lack of sunlight. Sunlight plays a crucial role in regulating our circadian rhythms, the internal clock that governs our sleep-wake cycle. Reduced exposure to daylight can disrupt this rhythm, leading to fatigue and difficulty concentrating. Additionally, limited sunlight can decrease serotonin levels—a neurotransmitter that contributes to feelings of well-being—and increase melatonin production, which can make us feel sleepy and sluggish.

Another contributing factor is the limited opportunity for outdoor activities and social connection. In warmer months, it’s easier to meet friends for a walk, enjoy a picnic, or take part in community events. But when temperatures plummet and sidewalks are slick with ice, many people opt to stay indoors, leading to feelings of isolation. The festive holiday season, while joyful for some, can exacerbate feelings of loneliness for others, especially once the celebrations are over and January’s stark reality sets in.

Fighting Back: Strategies to Beat the Winter Blues

Although winter’s challenges are real, there are numerous strategies you can employ to lift your spirits and maintain your mental health during the colder months. Here are some effective ways to combat the winter blues:

1. Maximize Sunlight Exposure

Whenever possible, try to get outside during daylight hours. Even a short walk during your lunch break can make a difference. If natural light is scarce, consider investing in a light therapy box. These devices mimic natural sunlight and can help regulate your circadian rhythms, boost serotonin levels, and improve your mood. Place the light box on your desk or dining table and use it for about 20-30 minutes each morning for optimal results.

2. Stay Active

Exercise is a powerful mood booster. While outdoor activities may be less accessible, there are plenty of ways to stay active indoors. Join a gym, try yoga or Pilates at home, or explore online workout classes. If you’re an outdoor enthusiast, consider winter-friendly activities like snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, or even brisk walks on clearer days. Physical activity releases endorphins, which are natural stress relievers and mood enhancers.

3. Prioritize Social Connections

Combat isolation by staying connected with friends and family. Schedule regular phone calls, video chats, or socially distanced meetups. If it’s safe and feasible, host small gatherings or join virtual communities and groups that share your interests. Social interaction is a cornerstone of mental well-being, and making an effort to connect can help you feel less alone.

4. Maintain a Healthy Routine

Establishing a consistent daily routine can provide structure and a sense of normalcy during the darker months. Aim to wake up and go to bed at the same time every day to support your circadian rhythm. Eat a balanced diet rich in whole foods, including fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains. Foods rich in omega-3 fatty acids, like salmon and walnuts, as well as those high in vitamin D, can be particularly beneficial.

5. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude

Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help reduce stress and improve your overall mental state. Take a few minutes each day to sit quietly and focus on your breath or practice guided meditations. Gratitude journaling is another effective tool; write down three things you’re thankful for each day to shift your perspective and cultivate positivity.

6. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If your feelings of sadness or lethargy persist and interfere with your daily life, don’t hesitate to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapy, medication, or a combination of both can be highly effective for managing seasonal affective disorder. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Embracing the Season

While winter may not be everyone’s favorite season, finding ways to embrace its unique offerings can make a significant difference. Cozy up with a good book by the fire, explore new indoor hobbies like painting or baking, or take time to reflect and plan for the year ahead. Viewing winter as an opportunity for rest and rejuvenation, rather than a burden, can shift your mindset and help you make the most of this quieter season.

Winter’s challenges are undeniable, but with intentional effort and a proactive approach, it’s possible to not just survive but thrive during these colder, darker months. By staying active, connected, and mindful, you can keep the winter blues at bay and emerge into spring feeling strong and refreshed.

If you live in Washington State, and you would like to make an appointment, please feel free to contact me here. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

:), Susan Reimers, JD/LICSW