mindfulness – TRANSCENDENT MENTAL HEALTH

Part 1 of a Five-Part Series on DBT Skills

Dialectical Behavior Therapy, usually called DBT, is a form of therapy designed to help people manage difficult emotions, navigate relationships, cope with painful situations, and build lives that feel more meaningful and manageable.

Psychologist Marsha Linehan originally developed DBT to treat people experiencing chronic suicidal thoughts and borderline personality disorder. Over time, however, DBT and DBT-informed approaches have been used much more broadly. Its skills can be helpful for people struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma-related difficulties, impulsive behavior, relationship problems, anger, and overwhelming emotions. Many of its principles can also be useful to people who simply want better tools for dealing with the ordinary stresses of life.

At its heart, DBT asks an interesting question: How can we accept ourselves and our lives as they are while also working to change them?

What Does “Dialectical” Mean?

The word dialectical refers to the idea that two things that seem contradictory can both contain truth.

For example:

I am doing the best I can, and I need to do better.

Those statements may initially seem incompatible. If I am already doing my best, why should I need to do better? DBT asks us to consider that both can be true. Given your history, circumstances, knowledge, emotional state, and skills, you may genuinely be doing the best you can right now. At the same time, what you are doing may not be working. You may need to learn new skills, make different choices, or change your circumstances.

This balance between acceptance and change runs throughout DBT. Acceptance without change can leave us stuck. Change without acceptance can turn into constant self-criticism. DBT tries to hold both.

The Assumptions of DBT

DBT is built around several assumptions about people and behavior. Among the most important are:

People are doing the best they can.
People want to improve.
People need to do better, try harder, and become more motivated to change.
People may not have caused all of their problems, but they still have to solve them.
New behaviors have to be learned and practiced in the situations where they are needed.
People cannot fail at DBT. When treatment isn’t working, the task is to understand what isn’t working and make adjustments.

These assumptions reflect the dialectical nature of the treatment. DBT does not require us to decide whether someone is responsible or blameless, strong or weak, trying or not trying. Human behavior is usually more complicated than that.

You may not have chosen the circumstances that caused your pain. You may nevertheless be the person who has to figure out what to do about it.

What Is the Goal of DBT?

The broad goal of DBT is sometimes described as building a life worth living.

That will mean different things to different people. For one person, it might mean maintaining relationships without constantly fearing abandonment. For another, it might mean getting through intense emotions without using substances or self-destructive behaviors. Someone else might want to communicate more effectively, manage anger, tolerate uncertainty, or stop allowing anxiety to dictate everyday decisions.

DBT therefore isn’t simply about making unpleasant feelings disappear. Sometimes feelings provide useful information. Sometimes distress is an understandable response to genuinely difficult circumstances. And sometimes a painful situation cannot immediately be changed.

Instead, DBT teaches us to respond more effectively to whatever situation we are actually facing.

Four Ways to Respond to a Problem

One particularly useful DBT idea is that there are essentially four ways we can respond to a problem.

We can solve the problem—or leave the situation. If something can be changed, we can identify the problem and take practical steps to address it. Sometimes the solution is changing or leaving the situation itself.

We can feel better about the problem. A situation may remain the same while our emotional response to it changes. We can examine our interpretations, regulate emotions, practice acceptance, or find a different way of relating to what happened.

We can tolerate the problem. Some problems cannot be fixed right now. DBT teaches distress-tolerance skills for getting through painful situations without making them worse.

Or we can do nothing and stay miserable.

That last option may sound harsh, but it reflects an important point: doing nothing is still a choice. Sometimes we cannot control what happened to us, what another person does, or what life has placed in our path. We can still work on choosing our response.

The Four DBT Skill Groups

DBT organizes many of its practical tools into four major skill areas.

Mindfulness teaches us to pay attention to what is happening in the present moment without immediately judging it or reacting to it. It forms the foundation for many other DBT skills.

Emotion regulation helps us understand emotions, reduce emotional vulnerability, and respond to feelings in ways that fit the situation rather than simply acting on emotional impulses.

Distress tolerance focuses on surviving painful moments that we cannot immediately change. The goal isn’t to pretend that distress feels good. It is to get through it without turning a difficult situation into an even more difficult one.

Interpersonal effectiveness focuses on relationships: asking for what we need, saying no, setting boundaries, managing conflict, maintaining self-respect, and balancing our own needs with those of other people.

Together, these skills provide something like a toolbox. DBT isn’t about using every tool in every situation. It is about recognizing what kind of problem you’re facing and learning which tool is most likely to help.

In the next four parts of this series, we’ll look more closely at each of these skill areas, beginning with mindfulness—the foundation on which the rest of DBT is built.

If you live in Washington State, and would like to set up an appointment with Susan Reimers, LICSW at Transcendent Mental Health, please click here.

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Therapy, Uncategorized

The Basics of Somatic Therapy

June 27, 2026May 26, 2026 S. Reimers, JD/LICSW

How Healing the Body Can Support Mental Health

Line art of two women, one looking down and the other tilting head back with hand in hair

Mental health treatment often focuses on thoughts, emotions, and behavior. While these are important, many people are surprised to learn that the body also plays a major role in emotional well-being. Stress, trauma, anxiety, and depression are not only experienced in the mind—they are also stored and expressed physically. This is where somatic therapy comes in.

Somatic therapy is a body-centered approach to mental health that helps people process emotions, reduce stress, and heal trauma by increasing awareness of bodily sensations. As interest in holistic wellness continues to grow, somatic therapy has become an increasingly popular treatment option for individuals seeking a deeper connection between mind and body.

In this article, we’ll explore the basics of somatic therapy, how it works, its benefits, and who may benefit from this therapeutic approach.

What Is Somatic Therapy?

Somatic therapy is a form of psychotherapy that combines traditional talk therapy with body awareness practices. The word “somatic” comes from the Greek word soma, meaning “the living body.” Rather than focusing only on thoughts and emotions, somatic therapy helps people notice how experiences are physically held in the body.

This approach is based on the understanding that emotional distress and trauma can become trapped in the nervous system. Over time, unresolved stress may appear as muscle tension, chronic pain, fatigue, digestive issues, panic attacks, or emotional numbness.

Somatic therapists guide clients in recognizing physical sensations connected to emotions and past experiences. Through gentle techniques, individuals learn how to release tension, regulate their nervous systems, and feel safer in their bodies.

How Somatic Therapy Works

Somatic therapy works by helping individuals become more aware of the connection between physical sensations and emotional experiences. During sessions, a therapist may encourage clients to notice:

Tightness in the chest
Muscle tension
Changes in breathing
Heart rate shifts
Tingling sensations
Posture or movement patterns

The goal is not to force emotional release but to create a safe environment where the body can process stress naturally.

Unlike some traditional therapies that rely heavily on verbal communication, somatic therapy recognizes that trauma is not always fully accessible through words. The body may remember experiences even when the conscious mind cannot clearly explain them.

By paying attention to bodily responses, clients can gradually release stored survival energy linked to trauma, fear, or chronic stress.

Common Techniques Used in Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy includes a variety of techniques designed to calm the nervous system and increase body awareness. Different therapists may use different methods depending on the client’s needs.

Breathwork

Controlled breathing exercises can help regulate the nervous system and reduce anxiety. Deep, mindful breathing encourages relaxation and helps individuals reconnect with their bodies.

Grounding Exercises

Grounding techniques help people stay connected to the present moment. This may involve noticing physical contact with the floor, focusing on the senses, or using gentle movement.

Body Scanning

A body scan involves mentally checking in with different parts of the body to identify areas of tension, discomfort, or emotional holding.

Movement Therapy

Some somatic approaches incorporate stretching, shaking, yoga-inspired movement, or guided physical exercises to release stress and increase emotional expression.

Mindfulness Practices

Mindfulness helps individuals observe sensations and emotions without judgment. This can improve emotional regulation and self-awareness.

Touch Therapy

In some forms of somatic therapy, trained practitioners may use safe and consensual touch techniques to support nervous system regulation. However, not all somatic therapists include physical touch.

Benefits of Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy offers a range of mental and physical health benefits. Because it focuses on the nervous system and body awareness, many individuals find it especially helpful when traditional talk therapy alone has not fully addressed their symptoms.

Reduced Anxiety and Stress

Somatic practices can calm the body’s stress response and reduce chronic tension. Clients often report feeling more grounded and emotionally balanced.

Trauma Healing

Somatic therapy is widely used for trauma recovery, including post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It helps individuals safely process traumatic experiences without becoming overwhelmed.

Improved Emotional Awareness

Many people struggle to identify or express emotions. Somatic therapy strengthens the connection between physical sensations and emotional understanding.

Better Nervous System Regulation

Learning how the nervous system responds to stress can help individuals recognize triggers and recover more quickly from emotional distress.

Relief from Physical Symptoms

Since emotional stress often appears physically, some people experience improvements in headaches, digestive discomfort, fatigue, and chronic muscle tension.

Stronger Mind-Body Connection

Somatic therapy encourages people to feel more connected to themselves, increasing self-awareness and self-compassion.

Who Can Benefit from Somatic Therapy?

Somatic therapy may benefit people dealing with a wide range of mental health and stress-related conditions, including:

Anxiety disorders
Depression
PTSD and trauma
Chronic stress
Panic attacks
Burnout
Grief and loss
Emotional numbness
Relationship difficulties

It can also support individuals who feel disconnected from their bodies or struggle with emotional regulation.

Some people choose somatic therapy as a standalone treatment, while others combine it with cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), medication, mindfulness practices, or other forms of mental health support.

What Happens During a Somatic Therapy Session?

A somatic therapy session usually begins with conversation, similar to traditional psychotherapy. The therapist may ask about emotional experiences, stress levels, or physical symptoms.

As the session continues, attention may shift toward bodily sensations. The therapist might ask questions such as:

“What do you notice in your body right now?”
“Where do you feel tension?”
“What happens when you focus on that sensation?”

Sessions often move slowly and gently to avoid overwhelming the nervous system. The emphasis is on safety, awareness, and gradual healing.

Every therapist has a different style, so sessions may vary depending on the therapeutic approach being used.

Is Somatic Therapy Evidence-Based?

Research on somatic therapy continues to grow, especially in the areas of trauma treatment and nervous system regulation. Studies suggest that body-centered therapies may help reduce symptoms of anxiety, PTSD, and chronic stress.

Many mental health professionals now recognize the importance of including the body in emotional healing. While somatic therapy may not replace all traditional mental health treatments, it can be a valuable complement to existing therapies.

Final Thoughts

Somatic therapy offers a unique and holistic approach to mental health by recognizing the powerful connection between mind and body. Instead of focusing only on thoughts and emotions, this therapy helps individuals tune into physical sensations, regulate the nervous system, and release stored stress and trauma.

For people seeking a deeper, body-centered path to emotional healing, somatic therapy may provide meaningful support. As awareness of trauma-informed care and holistic wellness grows, somatic therapy is becoming an important part of modern mental health treatment.

Understanding the basics of somatic therapy is the first step toward discovering how the body can become an active partner in healing, resilience, and emotional well-being.

Therapy

The Power of Positive Self-Talk

February 4, 2026 S. Reimers, JD/LICSW

What It Is, What It Isn’t, and Why It Matters

Negative self-talk is so common that many of us barely notice it. It’s the quiet background noise of the mind: You should be further along by now. Why can’t you do this like everyone else? You always mess things up. For some people it’s an occasional visitor; for others it’s a near-constant narrator. Either way, the way we talk to ourselves shapes our emotions, our behavior, and even our sense of what’s possible in our lives.

Let’s look at the real costs of negative self-talk—and why learning a more compassionate, constructive inner voice isn’t just “feel-good fluff,” but a practical life skill.

The Hidden Costs of Negative Self-Talk

1. Living by Imaginary Standards

A lot of negative self-talk comes from comparing ourselves to standards that are unclear, unrealistic, or not even ours. We absorb ideas about success, productivity, beauty, or likability from family, culture, or social media, and then silently punish ourselves for not measuring up.

The cost? Chronic dissatisfaction. When the bar is always moving—or impossibly high—you never get to feel “enough.” Even real accomplishments feel hollow because the inner critic quickly shifts the goalposts.

2. Shame About Traits and Performance

Negative self-talk often targets stable traits (“I’m lazy,” “I’m awkward,” “I’m bad with people”) instead of specific behaviors. This turns temporary struggles into identity-level judgments.

Shame is particularly costly because it makes change harder. If you believe a flaw is who you are rather than something you do, why try? Shame also pushes people toward hiding, withdrawing, or perfectionism—none of which support growth.

3. Emotional and Physical Toll

Research consistently links harsh self-criticism with higher anxiety, depression, and stress. Your brain doesn’t fully distinguish between an external bully and an internal one. Repeated self-attacks can keep your nervous system in a mild threat state, raising stress hormones and draining emotional energy.

4. Reduced Motivation

Many people believe self-criticism keeps them accountable. In reality, it often does the opposite. When tasks are paired with self-attack, your brain learns to associate effort with pain. Procrastination and avoidance then make perfect sense—they’re protective moves.

The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

Positive self-talk isn’t about pretending everything is great. It’s about speaking to yourself in ways that are accurate, kind, and useful.

1. Greater Resilience

When your inner voice says, That was hard, but you handled parts of it well and you can try again, setbacks become information rather than verdicts. You bounce back faster because your self-worth isn’t on the line every time.

2. Better Performance

Athletes and performers use constructive self-talk to improve focus and persistence. Statements like Stay with it, One step at a time, or You’ve done hard things before help regulate emotions and maintain effort.

3. Healthier Relationships

The way you talk to yourself often spills into how you relate to others. When you’re less harsh internally, you tend to be less defensive, less approval-seeking, and more open. Self-compassion makes room for compassion toward others.

4. A Stable Sense of Worth

Genuine positive self-talk builds worth that isn’t dependent on constant success. You become someone who can say, I value myself even while I’m growing.

Practical Strategies for Shifting Self-Talk

1. Notice and Name It

You can’t change what you don’t notice. Start by catching your inner commentary. Some people find it helpful to write down recurring phrases. Label them gently: That’s my inner critic talking.

2. Use the “Friend Test”

Ask: Would I say this to a good friend in the same situation? If not, try rephrasing.

From: I’m terrible at this.
To: I’m still learning this.

3. Aim for Believable, Not Rosy

Your brain rejects statements it knows are false. Instead of I’m amazing at everything, try I’m improving, or I can handle this step. Realistic encouragement works better than over-the-top praise.

4. Try Self-Compassion Breaks

A simple tool from self-compassion research includes three steps:

Mindfulness: “This is a moment of struggle.”
Common humanity: “Struggle is part of being human.”
Kindness: “May I be kind to myself here.”

This interrupts the spiral of self-attack.

5. Externalize the Critic

Some people imagine their inner critic as a character or voice separate from their core self. This can make it easier to say, Thanks for your input, but I’m choosing a different response.

6. Values-Based Self-Talk

Instead of focusing on how you feel or how you compare, focus on what matters to you.

I’m choosing to do this because I value growth.
I care about being reliable, so I’ll take one step.

This anchors your self-talk in direction, not judgment.

Tools That Can Help

Journaling: Track patterns in your thinking.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) worksheets: Help challenge distorted thoughts.
Mindfulness or meditation apps: Build awareness of inner dialogue.
Voice notes to yourself: Some people benefit from literally recording encouraging reminders.

You don’t need all of these—just one or two practiced consistently.

Genuine vs. Toxic Positive Self-Talk

It’s important to distinguish healthy positive self-talk from what might be called “toxic positivity” or narcissistic self-talk.

Genuine positive self-talk is:

Grounded in reality
Open to feedback
Compassionate toward self and others
Aimed at growth

Examples:
I have strengths and weaknesses like everyone.
I made a mistake and I can repair it.

Toxic or narcissistic self-talk is:

Inflated and defensive
Dismissive of others
Resistant to accountability
Used to prop up fragile self-esteem

Examples:
I’m better than everyone else.
Nothing is ever my fault.

The key difference is that genuine positive self-talk includes humility and responsibility. It doesn’t deny flaws; it holds them in a larger, kinder perspective.

Your inner voice is one of the few companions you have for life. It can be a harsh drill sergeant or a steady coach. Changing it doesn’t happen overnight, but small shifts matter. Each time you replace a cruel thought with a fair and supportive one, you’re not just “being nice to yourself”—you’re building a mental environment where growth is actually possible.

Therapy, Uncategorized

Finding Peace in a Chaotic World

September 17, 2025September 17, 2025 S. Reimers, JD/LICSW

Reframing the Present Moment in Troubling Times

As a therapist, I sit daily with clients who are deeply troubled by the world around them. The political landscape—both domestic and international—feels increasingly divisive. Newsfeeds are full of polarization, violence, climate disasters, and human suffering. For many, it’s not just background noise—it’s a constant hum of distress, a source of anxiety that feels both urgent and completely out of their control.

I understand that distress. I feel it too. But over the years, both personally and professionally, I’ve come to believe something important: peace is not found in ignoring the chaos. Peace is found in how we relate to it.

We live in a time where we’re more informed than ever, yet often feel more powerless than ever. We carry global suffering in our pockets, absorbing a relentless stream of information we were never meant to hold. While our awareness can deepen empathy, it can also overwhelm us, leaving us paralyzed or despairing. The solution is not to disengage—but to refocus.

Mindfulness: Returning to the Present Moment

One of the most powerful tools I teach is present-focused mindfulness. That’s not just sitting cross-legged and breathing (though that can help). It’s the daily, moment-to-moment practice of bringing our attention back from the swirling chaos of the world into what’s right in front of us.

When your mind spirals with “What ifs?” about the future or ruminates on all that’s going wrong, mindfulness invites a different question: “What is happening right now?”

Right now, your feet are on the ground. You’re breathing. You’re alive. Perhaps someone nearby needs kindness. Perhaps there’s a small task in front of you that deserves your care. The practice of noticing, grounding, and gently returning to now—again and again—is not escapism. It’s choosing to anchor yourself in a storm.

When the world feels out of control, mindfulness reminds us: this moment is still yours.

Reframing: Shifting from Helplessness to Engagement

Many of my clients come in with language like, “Everything is falling apart,” or “There’s nothing I can do.” While those feelings are valid, they’re often rooted in distorted, all-or-nothing thinking. This is where cognitive reframingbecomes essential.

Reframing doesn’t mean denying reality. It means choosing to see the fuller picture. Yes, there is suffering and injustice. And—there is also kindness, resilience, and people doing good work every single day.

Ask yourself:

Can I honor the pain of the world without letting it consume me?
Can I acknowledge what’s wrong without losing sight of what’s right?

Reframing allows us to hold both truths. It opens space for agency and hope, without demanding toxic positivity or denial.

Control the Controllables

One of the biggest sources of distress is the feeling that we should be doing more, knowing more, solving more. But the truth is, we can’t control everything. Not even close.

Here’s a therapeutic mantra I often share:
“Focus on what you can control. Let go of what you can’t. Know the difference.”

You can’t control political decisions made across the world. But you can control how you show up today. You can limit your news intake. You can vote. You can engage in difficult conversations with respect and curiosity. You can be kind to your neighbor. You can raise your children with empathy and integrity.

This isn’t about shrinking your concern. It’s about focusing your energy where it can actually make a difference—and protecting your mental health in the process.

Zooming In: The Power of Local and Micro Acts

When we constantly focus on the macro—global headlines, massive systems, overwhelming statistics—we often end up feeling powerless. But zoom in, and you’ll see a different picture.

Change happens locally. Healing happens in micro moments.

Ask yourself:

What’s happening in my community?
Who can I help?
How can I make one person’s day better?

One client of mine felt despair over climate change—until she committed to adjusting her own lifestyle choices to reduce her carbon footprint. Another was overwhelmed by political vitriol—until he joined a respectful bipartisan group as a way to humanize those he disagreed with. Small actions, grounded in values, create ripples.

When you zoom in, you realize: you’re not powerless. You’re part of something.

Living According to Values-Based Commitments

Mindfulness and reframing help us calm the storm. But long-term peace comes from living in alignment with our values—especially in a chaotic world.

Ask yourself:

What kind of person do I want to be?
What values matter most to me—compassion, justice, integrity, community?
How can I embody those values, right here, right now?

You may not be able to fix the world. But you can show up with courage, kindness, and purpose. You can be a steady, grounded presence for others. You can take action not from panic, but from principle.

This is the heart of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the frameworks I often use in therapy: aligning your actions with your values, even when things feel uncertain or hard.

In a divided, noisy, and often painful world, calm may feel elusive. But peace is not the absence of chaos—it’s how you hold yourself within it.

So breathe. Come back to this moment. Zoom in. Reframe. Act with intention. And trust that even your smallest acts of grounded, values-based living matter.

Because they do.

:), Susan Reimers, JD/LICSW

Therapy, Uncategorized

Present Moment Awareness: Fully Engaging with Life

February 17, 2025January 27, 2025 S. Reimers, JD/LICSW

Part Three in our Six Part Series on the Core Principles of ACT Therapy

This post is the third in our series exploring the core principles of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), an evidence-based approach that helps individuals develop psychological flexibility and lead values-driven lives. Having covered Acceptance and Cognitive Defusion in the previous posts, we now turn to another foundational principle of the ACT hexaflex: Present Moment Awareness.

What Is Present Moment Awareness in ACT?

Present moment awareness, often synonymous with mindfulness, is the practice of fully engaging with the here and now. It involves consciously attending to your current experiences—thoughts, emotions, sensations, and surroundings—without judgment or distraction. In ACT, this principle emphasizes being present, open, and flexible, regardless of whether the moment is pleasant or uncomfortable.

Modern life often pulls us out of the present moment, with distractions, worries about the future, and ruminations on the past dominating our attention. Present moment awareness helps us reconnect with what is happening right now, grounding us in our immediate experience. This practice fosters clarity and focus, enabling us to respond to life with intention rather than reacting automatically.

Why Is Present Moment Awareness Important?

Present moment awareness is crucial for psychological flexibility. When we are caught up in worries, regrets, or automatic thoughts, we can lose touch with what truly matters. By bringing our attention back to the present, we create space to observe our experiences with curiosity and compassion, rather than judgment or avoidance.

This principle also helps reduce the impact of unhelpful thought patterns and emotions. For example, instead of becoming overwhelmed by anxiety about an upcoming event, present moment awareness allows us to notice the feeling of anxiety, acknowledge it, and refocus on the current task or situation. Over time, this practice can improve emotional regulation, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being.

Present Moment Awareness in Action: A Metaphor

A common ACT metaphor for present moment awareness is the “Observer on the Mountain.” Imagine you are sitting on top of a mountain, watching the valley below. You see weather patterns come and go: sunshine, rain, storms, and clouds. From your vantage point, you can observe these changes without being swept away by them. Similarly, present moment awareness helps you observe your internal experiences from a place of stability, rather than getting lost in them.

Practical Strategies to Cultivate Present Moment Awareness

In ACT, present moment awareness is developed through mindfulness practices and intentional exercises. Here are some practical strategies to integrate into your daily life:

Mindful Breathing: Focus on the sensation of your breath as it enters and leaves your body. When your mind wanders, gently bring your attention back to your breath. This simple practice anchors you in the present moment.
Body Scan: Take a few minutes to scan your body from head to toe, noticing sensations, tension, or areas of relaxation. This practice fosters awareness of your physical state and helps ground you in the present.
Five Senses Exercise: Pause and take note of your surroundings using your five senses. What do you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel? This exercise helps you reconnect with your environment and shifts your focus away from unhelpful thoughts.
Labeling Experiences: As you notice thoughts or emotions, label them objectively. For example, say to yourself, “I am noticing a feeling of sadness” or “I am having a thought about failure.” This practice encourages nonjudgmental awareness.
Engaging Fully in Activities: Choose an everyday activity, such as washing dishes or drinking coffee, and give it your full attention. Notice the textures, smells, and sensations involved. This practice helps you appreciate the richness of ordinary moments.

Common Misconceptions About Present Moment Awareness

To fully embrace present moment awareness, it is important to address common misconceptions:

Mindfulness Is Not About Eliminating Thoughts: The goal is not to empty your mind but to observe your thoughts and experiences without judgment or attachment.
Mindfulness Is Not Always Relaxing: While mindfulness can reduce stress over time, the practice itself may involve confronting uncomfortable emotions or sensations.
Mindfulness Is Not a Fixed State: Present moment awareness is a skill that requires ongoing practice. It is normal for your mind to wander, and bringing it back to the present is part of the process.

The Role of Present Moment Awareness in the ACT Hexaflex

Present moment awareness is a foundational component of the ACT hexaflex, deeply intertwined with acceptance, defusion, and values-based living. By cultivating this principle, we enhance our ability to stay connected to our values and respond flexibly to life’s challenges. It allows us to fully engage with each moment, fostering a sense of presence and purpose.

Final Thoughts

Present moment awareness is a powerful tool for living a more intentional and fulfilling life. By grounding ourselves in the here and now, we can reduce the influence of unhelpful thoughts and emotions and create space for meaningful action. As you practice mindfulness, remember to approach yourself with patience and kindness. Each moment is an opportunity to begin again.

In the next post in this series, we will explore the principle of Values Clarification, which helps us identify and prioritize what truly matters in our lives. For now, take a moment to pause and notice your current experience. What do you see, hear, or feel? The present moment is always available to you, waiting to be explored.

If you live in Washington State, and you would like to make an appointment, please feel free to contact me here. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

:), Susan Reimers, JD/LICSW

Therapy

It’s the New Year! Let’s Make New Commitments (Not Resolutions)!

December 17, 2024January 27, 2025 S. Reimers, JD/LICSW

Resetting Our Mental Health with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy

As the New Year dawns, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the past and looking ahead with hope. It’s a natural time for self-assessment, but instead of setting traditional resolutions—which often focus on fixing perceived flaws—the New Year offers a unique opportunity to recommit to values-driven actions that nurture our mental well-being. From an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) perspective, this is not about striving for perfection or erasing difficulties. Instead, it’s about cultivating a meaningful life through acceptance, mindfulness, and purposeful commitments.

The Pitfall of Traditional Resolutions

Traditional New Year’s resolutions often aim for significant changes: losing weight, quitting a habit, or achieving a milestone. While these goals are well-intentioned, they often stem from a place of self-criticism or societal pressure. This approach can inadvertently set us up for feelings of failure if we don’t meet rigid expectations. Moreover, resolutions tend to focus on outcomes, which we can’t always control, rather than on processes that align with our core values.

ACT encourages us to step away from this cycle. Rather than framing the New Year as a time to fix ourselves, we can see it as an invitation to reconnect with what truly matters and to act in ways that honor our values, even when challenges arise. This shift in perspective can help reduce the burden of self-judgment and open the door to greater psychological flexibility.

Reflecting on Your Values

Values are the heart of ACT. They represent what is deeply important to us, guiding how we want to behave and what kind of person we want to be. Unlike goals, values are not something to achieve but rather qualities we bring to our actions. For example, if you value kindness, your commitment might involve being compassionate toward yourself and others, regardless of external outcomes.

To start, take a moment to reflect on the past year. Ask yourself:

What brought me a sense of fulfillment or connection?
When did I feel aligned with my values?
Are there areas where I’ve drifted from what matters most to me?

This exercise isn’t about judgment; it’s about noticing. From here, you can identify the values you’d like to prioritize in the coming year and consider how they might shape your mental health commitments.

Committing to New Actions

Once you’ve clarified your values, the next step is to create actionable commitments. In ACT, these are not rigid rules but flexible guides that help you move toward your values. Start small and specific. For example:

If you value connection, you might commit to calling a loved one weekly or joining a community group.
If you value growth, you might explore therapy, start journaling, or learn a new skill.
If you value self-care, you might schedule regular breaks or practice mindfulness for five minutes a day.

Remember, commitments are not about perfection. They’re about showing up, even when it’s hard. You might stumble—and that’s okay. Each moment offers a chance to recommit.

Practicing Acceptance and Mindfulness

A cornerstone of ACT is acceptance—the willingness to experience difficult emotions, thoughts, and sensations without struggling against them. The New Year can bring excitement but also anxiety or doubt. Practicing acceptance doesn’t mean resigning yourself to suffering; it means making space for these experiences while still moving toward your values.

Mindfulness can support this process. By staying present, you can notice when your mind wanders to self-criticism or unhelpful comparisons. Gently bring your focus back to the present and remind yourself of your values. Over time, this practice can help you build greater psychological flexibility and resilience.

Embracing the Journey

The beauty of a values-driven approach is that it transforms the New Year from a deadline for achievement into a journey of ongoing growth. It’s not about becoming someone new but about becoming more authentically you. Each step, no matter how small, is a victory when it aligns with your values.

As you step into the New Year, consider letting go of rigid resolutions and instead embrace commitments that reflect your true self. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this process. Life will continue to have its ups and downs, but by staying anchored in your values, you can create a sense of purpose and fulfillment that carries you through—not just this year, but for many years to come.

If you live in Washington State, and you would like to make an appointment, please feel free to contact me here. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.

:), Susan Reimers, JD/LICSW